A Very Bizzy Super Bowl

Hey all,
I don't know anything about football, but I do know that the Super Bowl is Sunday. I think?
I also don't know anything about physics, but thanks to Google, I can fake it pretty well.
Therefore, I've combined BOTH football and physics into one big happy meatball sub of a humor piece for your enjoyment:
What Space-Time Is the Super Bowl?
(With a bonus treat for Buffalo Bills fans!)
Hope you like it.
xoxo
Bizzy